Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Stop the Presses

Today Hubby took the Raptor on a field trip.  For the first time in 2 months someone came to look at the house, and rather than put him in his cage, Hubby took the dog to run errands with him.  The car is, after all, the Raptor's all time favorite invention.

The Raptor went to church and was very excited to see Hubby's secretary.  Hubby's secretary is one of those woman who has a beautiful soul but has hidden her beauty away.  She is so overweight she needs a walker and just hides herself in her actions and clothes.  She is a hoarder and her office is a mess.  But the Raptor has loved her since the first day he met her and sits on her lap (which she loves) while Hubby gets his work done.

Then they went to the post office and the Raptor waited patiently in the car (with the windows open) for Hubby to mail out some top secret, super important papers.  No one was waiting by the car when he returned to inform Hubby that they would be suing us for owning a vicious attack dog so we're pretty sure he didn't bite anyone.
But then came the piece d'resistance...Hubby took the Raptor into the local coffee house which allows well-behaved dogs.  He told me this and I almost choked on my own uvula...(not vulva, don't go there...and damn if Hubby didn't just say that!).  Inside the coffee shop was a miniature grey hound.  On no!!!  But wait, the Raptor loved him.  A woman even talked to him and held out her hand (seriously, we sound like actors from Jaws when we scream at people "Don't hold out your hand!") and he let her pet him without causing bodily harm.

All the rest of my world is crashing down around my ears and my dog goes on a field trip and acts like a perfect gentleman.  Have I really gone through the looking glass?  Is there a pill I am supposed to take to make my reality go back to bearable and even fun?

But I do like having a normal dog....