Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Brain-Dead Me

E  likes to make presents for the family for Christmas, so we bought a fizzy bath salt-making kit.  You mix two ingredients together with some water and place the batter in a mold to dry.  It seems pretty easy, doesn't it?

We had placed the molds on a cookie sheet and left them on our table in the living room.  All evening the Raptor kept barking at the table.  I had left two Christmas gift bags on the table to take to work in the  morning, so I just assumed he was barking at the bags.  He does that occasionally, barks at indiscriminate objects.  Although he is much better than he used to be.  But I digress...

Well E and I must have gotten the amount of water wrong.  It turns out the fizzy bath salts weren't exactly hardening, they were fizzing.  They fizzed right out of the mold, off of the cookie sheet and onto the 60 year old table.  Raptor must have heard the fizzing and thought there was a snake on the table.  He is a terrier after all, aren't they small snake and rodent hunters?

Anywho, our realtor called and said a family was coming to look at the house.  Our house was pretty clean, but I didn't want the family to come in and see hard pink goo on the table.  I tried to pick it off with my fingers-didn't work.  I got a knife and tried to scrape it off-didn't work.  I stared at this stuff and started to panic...after all, the table is an antique and it doesn't belong to me, it belongs to the church.  Had I just ruined it with fizzy bath salts?

Um...but then I thought about what it was.  It was fizzy BATH salts.  The word bath must imply that it dissolves in water.  DUH!!!  I got a wet paper towel and the problem was dis-solved (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) in seconds.  I'm such an idiot!  But in my defense, I have a nasty cold and blame the snot.

Oh...and for the third time in two weeks, the realtor never showed up and never called us to let us know she wasn't showing up.  All the while the raptor and I walked around outside in 20 degree weather so we wouldn't be in anyone's way.

Maybe I need to take a nice warm, fizzy bath.

And a shot of whiskey with some rock candy.

And Nyquil....lots of Nyquil.  (I've never taken it before, does it work?)


Joy said...

That sucks! Realtors Suck!!! Nyquil makes me ill. I think I spelled it wrong too. I'd go with whiskey and several motrins.

RV Vagabonds said...

Sounds like you need a new realtor--one who really cares.

Nyquil works for my husband, Alka Seltzer for Colds works for me (the orange flavor is the least sucky). Hot toddies work too! They may not cure the crud, but you won't care.

Living in Muddy Waters said...

Sadly I have no control of which realtor the church uses. They chose the one with the lowest fee.

Erica said...

No, Nyquil does not work. When they made pseudophedrine a semi-controlled substance, they changed the formula. It now has an antihistamine in it and a decongestant that doesn't work (but I now use it in the summer for my allergies, it's great for that!). Get some Alleve-D from the pharmacist, or whatever the tylenol or ibuprofen equivalent is if naproxen isn't your cup of tea. Just make sure it has real sudafed. It works miracles.

I have really bad allergies and since I've moved to a new part of the country have spent the better part of 18 months dealing with all the new, regional cold strains. I've become somewhat of an expert on decongestants :)

Matt said...

NyQuil works great if you can get the old formula, some states still allow the sale of the pseudo-ephedrine formula if you show an because the meth heads use it to make meth. It will put you to sleep but it works wonders. Nyquil might not make it anymore but I can still get a walgreens brand with the old formula. If you prefer a pill get some good old sudafed again from behind the counter and it will unstuff your nose.

Bubblewench said...

That's a shitty realtor. Next time I'd make sure I was home. In my jammies. Watching TV eating ice cream.