Monday, October 11, 2010

Everybody Sing

Hands, Foot and Mouth Disease
(mouth disease)
Hands, Foot and Mouth Disease
(mouth disease)
I've been exposed to HFMD,
Hands, Foot and Mouth Disease
(mouth disease)

One of my three-year olds went home Wednesday and came down with blisters on her body which was then diagnosed as HFMD.  She did not return to school and Saturday night I started to feel kind of icky.  Malaise, sore throat, very swollen gland in my neck.  Could it be that I too have HFMD-adult style?

But alas, that is not what I want to post about.  I want to post about "Why I do not attend weddings where Hubby officiates" anymore.  Hubby believes that performing weddings, whether or not the bride and/or groom are members of his church, is important.  More than one couple he has married have gone on to join a church and they all credit him.

Of course, unless the person is a member of his church, there is a fee for his service.  Most people think that a pastor should just do weddings for free.  But think about it.  Hubby refuses to marry a couple unless they first take premarital counseling from him or someone he approves (4 hours).  Then he has to meet with the couple to discuss the service (1 hour), write a small wedding sermon (2 hours), attend the rehearsal (usually 2 hours) and the wedding (2 hours) All in all he spends about 11 hours on a wedding and if the couple are not members of his church, that 11 hours is on top of his normal 50 hours work week.  He deserves to be paid.  If the couple doesn't want to pay, they should just get one of their friends to get ordained online.  But most people don't want that.  They really want to be married in the eyes of God.

Hubby (and family) is almost always invited to the reception.  It's just common courtesy.  I attended the first several weddings after Hubby was ordained.  Nothing good ever happened when I did.  Either we would be sat with completely deaf Grandma Lou who smelled like tea-tree oil and ben-gay, or we would be sat with the most obnoxious couple who no one else wanted to sit with.  Once, we discovered that even though our daughter had been specifically invited on the invitation and we had RSVP'd  for three, there was no chair for her.  And when we sat down at the table, several of the people very loudly proclaimed that "there goes our being able to drink"  and "I can't believe they brought their child" to which someone responded "They're just after the free food."

So eventually I just refused to go anymore. Why put myself up to ridicule?  But this past weekend, a woman who attends our church but is not a member asked Hubby to officiate at her mom's wedding.  Her mom is a member of another local church (different denomination) but her pastor was not available on her date.  Hubby agreed and told her up-front his fee, to which she said, "Sounds reasonable."  Hubby met with the mom and told mom and groom that he would need his fee two weeks ahead of time.  No problem, they said.  Two weeks prior came and went. No check.  He took them aside at the rehearsal and they said they had "forgotten" but would give it to him before the ceremony.  Ten minutes prior to the ceremony, still no money.  Hubby had to make a choice.  Walk out and have his reputation ruined, or perform the ceremony.  He went ahead with it, but I told the daughter of the bride that Hubby had not been paid.

We went to the reception which was on a marina deck of a restaurant.  Tables were set up everywhere but by the time we got there, most of them were full.  There were two tables which had 8 chairs, of which 6 at each table were available.  I went to sit down at one, and the woman sitting at the first table told me that we couldn't sit there because they were saved seats.  Um...okay, how high school, but I moved.  So I went to the second table with the last 6 available seats.  As I started to sit down, the woman there actually threw her arm in front of me and said "You can't sit there.  There's no room at this table," in this sneering tone.  There had to be room at one of the tables because there were supposed to be enough seats for every guest.  Stunned by the tone, I walked back to the daughter of the bride and told her no one would let us sit down.  She was pissed off that everyone was being so rude.  She asked the serving staff to get another table for us.  They got one and started setting it up in the shaded area.  As I went to sit down, this teen-age boy started telling me I couldn't sit there.  The chairs were still being placed and the table had been put out for us, but I couldn't sit there.  His mom (who was already sitting at a table) was yelling across the deck at him to stop us and make sure we didn't sit there because they had already called that table.  "Called" that table?  Are you serious?  Hubby started to sit down and the woman actually screamed, "You can't sit there.  You don't deserve to sit there.  That's for real guests."

By then I was feeling sick from being in the direct sun with this swollen gland, I had been run-off from three tables and embarrassed a la Jerry Springer by some screaming meanie.  I took E, took Hubby's car keys, gave him my phone and left.  I told him to call me when he got his money.  He finally called me 90 minutes later.  The couple paid him in cash.  I almost wonder if they took the money off the money tree to give him because they really didn't think he would force the issue. 

So anyway, I am back to my rule of not attending the receptions.  They are just not worth it. Yet another stellar example of the hospitality to be found in CountryTime.


Jenny said...

That is absolutely terrible! The pastor who married us (and he is our regular pastor, I am a member at the church) only ended up being able to make it to the rehearsal because of a funeral he had ended up needing to officiate after our wedding, but we made sure to tip him before the ceremony, on top of the percentage he received from the fee we paid to use the church!

My own problem with our wedding day, and maybe I'm being over sensitive, but one of the people attending the funeral after our wedding (who knew full well there was a wedding going on, yet chose to have the funeral so close to our wedding time) actually came up to me as we finished our pictures outside and asked if we were almost done because they wanted to bring the hearse around. Seriously? Who does that? I'm sorry for their loss, but come on.

catherine said...

I can't believe how disrespectful people are in country time! Isn't it amazing how people who profess to be "Christians" act like they have never cracked the Bible, and havn't a clue how to "do onto others..." They remind me of suicide bombers who blow themselves up in the name of Allah, but have never read the Koran, because they would know it states religious tolerance, and taking anothers life is the ultimate sin, dooming you to hell.

RV Vagabonds said...

Totally speechless here. Totally.

Bubblewench said...

These stories horrify me. These are church people? This is why I don't like church. Ugh.