Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Moral Judgment

I like margaritas.
I like loud rock and roll.
I like kissing my husband.
I like hanging out with my gay and lesbian friends.
I love my tattoo!
If my daughter ends up marrying a black man, I don't care.

I am human and try really hard not to judge other people.  That doesn't mean I always succeed, but I always try.  So you can imagine how hard it is for me to be held up to a higher standard of morals than anyone else.  And I am beginning to think Facebook is the devil's playground. 

Our church is having its vacation bible school this week and  I am in charge of the 4-6 year olds.  One of my cutest little girls really likes Hubby and yesterday asked him if he was a real pastor.  Hubby said yes, he was a real pastor.  Then this angelic little girl smiled at him with the most cherubic look you have ever seen and said, "My mommy calls my daddy a pastor sometimes."  I turned to Hubby and whispered, "Yeah, I bet that's what she's calling him." Hubby and I cracked up (if you don't get it, add a -d- to the end and figure out what it rhymes with) and I went to tell the little girl's aunt what she had said.  The aunt laughed and talked about how the girl's family had attended the church up until a few years ago and maybe Hubby could talk to them and try to get them back.  I told her that I would pass that on and I went back to my group.  When I walked away from her I thought everything was fine.

Hubby got home last night and posted the story on his Facebook page without names.  We woke up to an email this mornng from the aunt livid that we had perpetuated this story.  Now the girl's family would never attend the church and she had to pray about it to see if she should tell the family what the girl said.  She totally blew it out of proportion.  Kids say things all the time to me and I only half listen to them. Plus, the girl could have been making things up or been confused with another word.  It was just a cute story.

Well, to make a long story short, this woman accused us of being out of line (this church likes to accuse us of that a lot) and said that she was pulling the little girl out of VBS.  She is refusing to answer Hubby's calls or our emails.  I sent her an email apologizing for hurting her feelings, but letting her know when I walked away I thought everything was okay.  I also told her that children say things like that all the time and adults love those stories, but no one believes them to be real reflections of what goes on at home.

So, anyway, now I am wondering if I will be attacked by this woman (the one who just happened to be the woman who provoked my rage when she said I must be glad I don't have to work this summer), if she will spread gossip among the sheep or if we are really going to make it at this church.  Because all of these congregants requested to friend us before we even moved here but use FB as a means of judging whatever we say.  It's like we're not supposed to be human.

And yes, I tightened the security on my FB page so tight that no church member will ever have access to it again.  They can bitch and cry foul all they want.  The line was crossed.

7 comments:

Charli-tan said...

Oh sweet Jeebus!! I read hubby's sweet little story and to believe that there was anything malicious in his posting it, you would have to be seriously SERIOUSLY looking for a reason to be a victim. Did this church not get the memo that you and hubby are two of the most unoffensive people on the planet?
You must want to scream.

Anonymous said...

I think she was probably embarrassed. And then seeing it on you H's facebook amplified the embarrassment. Even though there's no way the story traced backed to her, I think she probably felt exposed and like her family was being held up for ridicule. Not a rational reaction, perhaps, but one an insecure person is certainly capable of. And maybe since your H is a pastor and authority figure to her, she felt he was violating her privacy somehow.

I can kind of understand how she might have felt, but if it were me it would be a simple email explaining how I felt, without the drama and histrionics.

~tamjenic

Anonymous said...

I think she was probably embarrassed. And then seeing it on you H's facebook amplified the embarrassment. Even though there's no way the story traced backed to her, I think she probably felt exposed and like her family was being held up for ridicule. Not a rational reaction, perhaps, but one an insecure person is certainly capable of. And maybe since your H is a pastor and authority figure to her, she felt he was violating her privacy somehow.

I can kind of understand how she might have felt, but if it were me it would be a simple email explaining how I felt, without the drama and histrionics.

~tamjenic

Anonymous said...

sorry about the double post ;-)

Bubblewench said...

That's awful. Just another reason I hate FB...

Wide Lawns said...

Oh my Lord, people are so crazy. We had an issue like this in the family where a five year old said something silly about her uncle and he flipped out and said she must have heard it from her parents and he always knew her parents hated him and it became this ridiculous drama. People need to realize that kids just say funny things something and laugh at them.

RV Vagabonds said...

FB can be a wonderful way to find old friends (I located my matron of honor--long,sad story) and keep in touch with acquaintances or it can dredge up all kinds of creepy folks. Feel no guilt about placing controls on hubby's FB--you need to have an outlet that you don't have to explain to people.