I finally managed to push his comatose drunken body off of me and I rolled onto my side in a fetal position, trying to stay as close to the edge (and as far away from him) as possible. What had I done? Sure, he seemed like a nice enough guy. Sure, I had talked to him a few times at the bank. Sure, he was very cute. But...WHAT HAD I DONE? I never had one night stands. Was he going to think I was easy? Was he going to believe me when I told him this was never going to happen again? And it wasn't going to happen again. I was too focused on my career to get involved with someone. Plus, he was only in town for a few weeks. I certainly didn't want to get involved only to get my heart broken.
The next morning I sent him on his way with an awkward, cold, polite kiss. He asked if he could see me that night and I told him I didn't know. This wasn't like me and I didn't want him getting the wrong idea. But he told me he would call me later and left.
When he called me later I hesitated before answering the phone. What was proper etiquette in this situation? If I went out with him on a real date, would it lessen the sting for me that I had slept with a stranger? Or was I just encouraging his false belief that I was going to sleep with him again. In the end my need to justify the situation won over and I agreed to go to dinner with him that night...on one condition. I told him flat out that there would be no sex. If he wanted to go out on a date me then we had to back up and start over.
He picked me up that night after my show and took me to a local restaurant that we could walk to from my apartment. He refrained from drinking that night and I got to see the real him. He was nice and polite and funny. He opened doors for me and when I walked through he put his hand on the small of my back to guide me. I love that, when a man puts his hand on the small of your back, it makes me feel so protected.
We talked about everything. I told him about my acting and my family. He told me about his small hometown and his deep religious belief. He even told me that he had considered becoming a pastor, but they didn't make enough money. To this day, that sentence still rings clear everytime I think about it, just like a warning bell.
When dinner was over we walked out of the restuarant to find a light dusting of snow falling from the clear night sky. It was beautiful. He held my hand as we walked back to my apartment.
Neither of us wanted the date to end, but I had made my rule, so instead we walked over to the grocery store across the street and bought some Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey (who knew banana ice cream could be so good) and snuggled up in my warm house to watch Martin Lawrence host SNL. Some of you may remember when Martin Lawrence hosted he blew past the censors and delivered a raunchy opening monlogue that was later deleted before the west coast could see it. We laughed until I cried and it just felt so right... but it was getting late.
Hubby turned to me and asked if he could stay the night. I flat out told him no, that I had no intention of sleeping with him again until I got to know him. At which point he said he promised he wouldn't try anything, he just wanted to stay with me and it was SO cold and snowy outside. He looked at me with this fake pouty face and I was lost. I took him upstairs and he kept his promise. There was no sex that night. But this time instead of half sleeping on the far edge of my bed, I was snuggled up into the nook of his chest and very, very comfortable.
To be continued....