Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Balancing Act

First things first. I have struck a new low as a pastor's wife. I had my yearly mammogram today (I have lumpy breasts so I started early). When I walked out of the back area into the lobby, a church member was sitting there waiting for her turn. I stopped to politely chit chat when she started tellng me about the large lump she had. Then she stood up, grabbed my hand, said "Feel this!" and placed my hand directly against her breast. It all happened so fast that I was left speechless and touching another woman inappropriately. I yanked my hand back quickly as the woman went on about the history of the lump and I smiled politely, but all I could think was "MY GOD!!!! She made me touch her breast! ACK!!!" I have had to listen to a lot of gross personal information from people, but that crossed the line.

Then I went back to the chiropractor. He essentially said that in 25 years as a chiropractor no one had ever complained that an adjustment hurt, that I must have a low-threshhold for pain and that I misinterpreted his comment yesterday about the pain and back surgery. He even went so far as to say that I didn't really feel the pain that I was complaining about. He asked if I was mad at him since I was so intense and I said yes, plus I am now terrified of having another adjustment. At that point he told me he did not want to continue having me as his patient. I asked for my records and that was it. That man was the most pompous arrogant asshole and doesn't deserve my money!

But I bet a lot of you thought I wasn't going to stand up for myself, didn't you? Truthfully I wasn't sure I was going to be able to do it, but I am spending a lot of money in therapy TO stand up for myself, so I figured I better do it. Only I need to find a middle ground. I was so angry and upset that I was teary in his office which made me look and feel weak. Now that I am starting to let people know when I feel wronged by them, I have to find a way not to just erupt with my anger. I'm sure the chiropractor thought I was just another hysterical woman.

So all in all, while I am sorry that happened to me and I need to get to the point where I don't fall apart when I get intimidated; I did take care of me in this case, even if I was teary because I was so mad. I took care of me. I take that as a victory. I'm just sorry it had to hurt so bad at the time.


Green said...

I'm really proud of you. Sometimes when you're scared to say something, you screw up more courage then you needed, so you come across angry. Unfortunately, sometimes anger comes across weepy.

The important thing is you defended your body. The interaction with the doctor, his firing you sort of before you could fire him, it may feel more important, but the fact that you defended your body from more pain is most important here.

I'm proud of you.

Anonymous said...

I have to tell you that your message about the breast touching incident made me laugh out loud. Seriously. In the middle of first period. My students thought I was nuts (like that's anything new). And congrats on putting the chiropractor in his place (you know I don't like them much anyway).
And happy very belated birthday.


Bubblewench said...

I'm SOOO glad to hear that. What an ass.