Monday, April 12, 2010

You may have heard this one before...

Hubby and I spent 5 married years together before we decided we were ready to have children. We were selfish, young, and more than a little unruly. We wanted time to form our relationship before we brought a child into the world. So, when I was 29 we decided the time had come to become parents. We were ecstatic when we were able to announce to our friends and family that we were pregnant. Only that pregnancy was not meant to be and we miscarried. 6 months later we tried again and this time we guardedly, but joyously, announced our pregnancy, only to lose that child as well.

We were devastated. Maybe we were not meant to have a child. We decided to take a year and just heal our broken hearts. But something happened…Hubby went home to Florida for his Spring Break while I stayed home to work. It was while he was gone that I received confirmation that I, against all odds, was pregnant again. I panicked, I grieved. I was alone and afraid. I wasn’t ready to carry (and more than likely) lose a child again.

I went to school that morning and my tiniest little 4th grader, no more than 50 pounds wet, said, “I need to tell you something.” She took me aside and said, “Every morning I read from this book my mom gave me. It tells a story and then talks about a lesson from Jesus. Today the lesson was ‘choose to be happy.’ It made me think of you. I don’t know why I need to tell you that, but I do, so I did.” And just like that she walked away and went back to work, none the wiser that she had just given me the greatest gift I had ever received. Throughout the rest of the pregnancy, even though it was high-risk the whole way and I ended up in the emergency room at 17 weeks, I never lost her voice in my heart telling me to choose to be happy. I knew everything would be all right.

Now you all know I am not the most religious person in the world. And I certainly don't want to say I think God was talking to me, but I do think the Universe wanted to let me know everything was going to be all right. The funny thing was, the women I worked with at the time tried hard to convince me that I should forgo delivering in a hospital and just let them create a circle around me and deliver at home. I scoffed then at the idea, thinking it was mighty weird. But you know what, after my labor and delivery experience, I really wish I had.

Lesson to the wise...choose a GREAT OB, not just one your insurance says to.


Melissa said...

Thanks for this. I think I needed to read it. Maybe not today specifically but soon. 'Choose to be happy.' I am recently diagnosed with fertility issues and the first round of treatment didn't work as well as they hoped. We'll try again but I'm a worrier. I'll be 29 in June. I just need to breathe and choose to be happy!

Anonymous said...

I hear ya about the OB's.

I'd give the gory details, but to sum it up, the first one dismissed my concerns during early labor. Turns out I had been over induced nearly lost my son.

The second one was vociferously complaining during the late part of my labor. In an effort to finish up more quickly, I had a 4th degree tear you know where.

The third one went ok except I almost didn't make it to the hospital in time.

Also, I am not religious at all, but I've had spiritual epiphanies. Something in the universe talks to us sometimes when we very much need it.


Bubblewench said...

Wow. What a great post. Thanks for the heads up on OB's... I'm about to go into high risk preg IF we can, and well, that makes me nervous to have to pick an OB. I do believe the universe sends us messages when we least expect them and need them most.