Monday, February 1, 2010

A repost from my past

I posted this on my former blog and just thought about it recently. This still feels like a dirty secret two years later.


I was on the road again this weekend. I had to travel about 5 hours away with my theater troupe. I love the people I am currently traveling with. We have these long, ambling, meaningless conversations in the car and laugh so hard my jaw locks. I hate the traveling, but at least we enjoy each other.

So we check into the hotel Friday night and we are on the second floor, no elevator. I don't care that there is not an elevator, but it plays a relevant part in this story. So, I put my stuff down in the room I am sharing with my friend, the Assassin. Now you have to understand, the Assassin and I are the same person, only she got the more masculine energy and I got the more feminine energy of our shared personality. We complete each others sentences, burst out in nebulous song lyrics at the same time and can give each other just a look when an inappropriate person walks by and crack each other up because we KNOW what the other is thinking. It's a rare friendship.

Anywho, I put my stuff in the room and decide I need some water. I only drink bottled water on the road, because, well, not all water is created equal. But I go downstairs and the drink vending machine is right next to the snack machine. I get my water and then think to myself, geez, I really want some sugar. Oh, why not? It's a roadtrip. What's a roadtrip without sugar? So I put my money in and press the button for a Three Musketeers bar (the least calorie and fat load.) Just as my bar is falling into the pit I notice an Almond Joy bar hanging upside down by a tiny piece of corner wrapper. Anyone who orders an Almond Joy next is going to get TWO. TWO bars for the price of one, hmmm?

As my bar hits the pit, the door next to the machine opens and this older couple comes out to see me and sees the Almond Joy. They mumble about how it was just me getting a candy bar and no, their bar is still stuck. So the man in the couple says he is going to go get the manager to get his bar unstuck and he waddles off down the hall.

I don't know if it was road weariness or a backlash against VBS all week or just some evil curmudgeon taking over me, but I had to have those two bars. Only I didn't have enough money left since I had already BOUGHT my candy bar. But the challenge was on, so I raced upstairs, slammed into the room and breathlessly forced the Assassin off the phone asking her if she had any change. She poured out her purse and I asked her if she liked Almond Joy bars becauseifshedidthereweretwohangingdownanifImadeitfastenoughIcouldbeattheoldcoupleandgetoneforfreenowgivemethechange (yes, I said it that fast.)

She gave me her change, laughed hysterically and yelled "GO, GO!' as I ran out the room. I raced downstairs, put in my money, got the two bars and zipped back upstairs. I stopped at the top of the hallway as I heard the old man coming down the hall with the manager talking about getting the candy bar out of the machine. I laughed silently as I walked down the hall to my room to give the Assassin her candy bars. After all, I didn't need them. I had my Three Musketeers. It was just the challenge of it, I guess. Karma is going to come back and bite me in the butt for this, isn't it? But I never do anything mean or bad. NEVER. And you know what......

It felt so GOOD!!!

2 comments:

Charlitan said...

It's 2 years later. Have you gotten your candy bar Karma yet?
LOL!

Anonymous said...

You know what, that story still cracks me up too! Thanks for the giggle.
Assassin