Saturday, January 30, 2010

Grrrr-ooowwwlllll

I hate clothes shopping. There is nothing in this world that makes me more irritable and angry than going into a store to try on outfit after outfit only to find nothing fits! I am trying hard to accept my body, I really am. But I think it would be fair to call me Ruebenesque without the large boobs. I'm 5'5'' and definitely pear-shaped. But I was also a swimmer and I still have very broad shoulders, only I also have sausage-like arms. My butt is kind of bulbous and my hips are "healthy." Basically I carry my weight all over my body instead of condensed into one spot like most people. In fact, people are always surprised to find out I weigh as much as I do because it is pretty evenly distributed.

So I go into a clothes store and I walk around with a broad swath of sizes on my arms because I know...I know that depending on the style, I could be one of many sizes. I'll take 6 pairs of pants into a dressing room only to discover three of them are short-waisted (I am not), two of them are 6 inches too long and look like I could hide a toddler in the legs and the last pair is made of a cheap fabric that I can SMELL and certainly couldn't wear because the feel of them creeps me out. I refuse to wear anything that pushes my tummy up and into the ever popular "muffin top" and I refuse to wear anything that shows off my butt crack. It just ain't pretty and I taint going there.

So I am down to my last three pairs of pants and no hope in sight. Here in CountryTime we have two department stores and a Walmart. There was nothing at any of the stores that fit me, so now I have to drive myself into the next state and HOPE that I can find something that I can wear to work with kids AND to church. And I know someone is going to tell me to buy large and get something altered, but that's expensive and we just don't have that kind of money.

Also, I have this big formal shindig that I have to attend in March that requires me to buy a formal gown. I didn't even wear a formal gown at my wedding! Have you ever been a large woman trying to buy a formal gown? Let me amend that, have you ever been a large, small breasted woman trying to buy a formal gown? Most larger size clothes assume you have the boobs to back them up. I do not. So I can buy a formal dress that will require me to stuff two water balloons in it, or I can buy a dress designed for a 60 year-old mother of the bride. OR, ebay has drag qeen dresses available that might actually fit me.

What to do, what to do?

6 comments:

alissa said...

the idea of stuffing with water balloons made me laugh! it's an improvement on the tissue paper or gym socks idea!

you could always try shopping out of town, and if you find something you like, get the exact thing off of ebay... it's usually cheaper.

or do you know someone that sews?

k said...

myshape.com

I LOVE IT! I am a big girl, with big boobs and have bought two dresses and a shirt and everything fits!

love it

k said...

email me at addisonwren at gmail dot com of you want a referral link :)

paintlady2424 said...

I get most of my clothes at Kohls. They have clothes that look like regular sizes, just larger. I used to have a hard time finding where the large sizes were. Every other place I just looked for the ugly clothes and tried to pick out the best. Kohls makes me feel almost normal.

Anonymous said...

Check online at someplace like Lands End. Maybe a little pricey, but beats driving out of state.

~tamjenic

Anonymous said...

I've been looking for shirts that cover my hip then finding a polo shirt solid and pant or those pants that flare and come past the knees for a skirt effect without the bother. Sort of a modified "Golden Girls" Dorothy effect; where my shirt skirt/pant (bolero?) matches and picks up a tone/color from the shirt jacket effect. I look for colors I like and have variety in the casual or dressiness of the shirt. I cut the buttons off the polo to give it a Peter Pan neckline that either a scarf or necklace or beads tends to dress it up. Some of my polo tops are from the men's departments of Target or Walmart looking for material that is softer, thinner, sometimes lacier than what I can find in the women's department. Good luck!
Desert Dweller