I hate clothes shopping. There is nothing in this world that makes me more irritable and angry than going into a store to try on outfit after outfit only to find nothing fits! I am trying hard to accept my body, I really am. But I think it would be fair to call me Ruebenesque without the large boobs. I'm 5'5'' and definitely pear-shaped. But I was also a swimmer and I still have very broad shoulders, only I also have sausage-like arms. My butt is kind of bulbous and my hips are "healthy." Basically I carry my weight all over my body instead of condensed into one spot like most people. In fact, people are always surprised to find out I weigh as much as I do because it is pretty evenly distributed.
So I go into a clothes store and I walk around with a broad swath of sizes on my arms because I know...I know that depending on the style, I could be one of many sizes. I'll take 6 pairs of pants into a dressing room only to discover three of them are short-waisted (I am not), two of them are 6 inches too long and look like I could hide a toddler in the legs and the last pair is made of a cheap fabric that I can SMELL and certainly couldn't wear because the feel of them creeps me out. I refuse to wear anything that pushes my tummy up and into the ever popular "muffin top" and I refuse to wear anything that shows off my butt crack. It just ain't pretty and I taint going there.
So I am down to my last three pairs of pants and no hope in sight. Here in CountryTime we have two department stores and a Walmart. There was nothing at any of the stores that fit me, so now I have to drive myself into the next state and HOPE that I can find something that I can wear to work with kids AND to church. And I know someone is going to tell me to buy large and get something altered, but that's expensive and we just don't have that kind of money.
Also, I have this big formal shindig that I have to attend in March that requires me to buy a formal gown. I didn't even wear a formal gown at my wedding! Have you ever been a large woman trying to buy a formal gown? Let me amend that, have you ever been a large, small breasted woman trying to buy a formal gown? Most larger size clothes assume you have the boobs to back them up. I do not. So I can buy a formal dress that will require me to stuff two water balloons in it, or I can buy a dress designed for a 60 year-old mother of the bride. OR, ebay has drag qeen dresses available that might actually fit me.
What to do, what to do?