Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Just a question....

So what would happen if:

I didn't run the kid's Christmas program
I didn't bake the 10 dozen cookies for shut-ins and church functions
I didn't make the Christmas meal or breakfast
I didn't feed the homeless on Christmas Day
I din't sweep the mud off the floor that my family dragged in
I didn't do the laundry
I didn't walk the raptor
I didn't volunteer for the PTA's Santa Shop
I didn't sing in the band
I didn't sing on Christmas Eve
I didn't empty the dishwasher, print the Christmas programs, buy the gifts, plan my lessons, attend the parties, send the cards, send the thank-yous, wrap the gifts, make the ornaments that the youth will sell and make the bed.

What would happen if for just one day I opted out...because I need to opt out for a day...would the world stop turning on its axis? I mean, I AM the person that everyone turns to to get things done. The only time the Assassin ever hurt my feelings was the day she told me my lot in life was to be the Arranger. I hate that title, but it is so true. Even Hubby commented last night about the one time when we were dating that I blew off a meeting to be with him. He said he knows now what that meant because he has never seen me since that day not be responsible.

How does one do that? How do you say enough and follow through with it? I have control issues so it is really hard for me to relinquish my tight-fisted grasp on EVERYTHING, but I want to....

How do you just not care and let things go?

8 comments:

charli-tan said...

Unfortunately, almost no one with children, a family and a job get's to opt out for a day. I don't see you so much as an "arranger" as i do a "grown up". I think that you are just doing what responsible people do.

Of course, the world would not stop if you shut down for a day. People get sick. People leave town. all kinds of things happen. I say you take a much needed day off!

Brandie said...

I didn't run the kid's Christmas program...either someone else would step up and do it, or there wouldn't be a kid's Christmas program, no big deal.
I didn't bake the 10 dozen cookies for shut-ins and church functions...Buying is so much easier. I didn't make the Christmas meal or breakfast...TAKE OUT! I didn't feed the homeless on Christmas Day...They would feed themselves (truly). I didn't sweep the mud off the floor that my family dragged in...It would get awfully muddy, but you might be surprised to see someone else step up and do it. I didn't do the laundry...you would smell. I didn't walk the raptor...he would eat you. I didn't volunteer for the PTA's Santa Shop...The PTA is a lame organization anyway. I didn't sing in the band...it would miss you, but would still perform just fine. I didn't sing on Christmas Eve...no one would care, they would pretend to, but they would not REALLY care. I didn't empty the dishwasher... Dirty dishes would pile up. Print the Christmas programs...who really cares about the programs, it's not like everyone isn't told the exact order of things by the conductor. You just have to clean all those left behind programs anyway. Buy the gifts...no gifts, your family would totally understand. Plan my lessons...unless you are getting paid why would you even accept a position that required lesson plans. Attend the parties...again, no one will REALLY care. Send the cards...only a few people who truly care about hearing from you (like Jen) will care. Send the thank-yous...YOU should be getting the thank you's. Wrap the gifts...I thought that was the fun part, hmm... make the ornaments that the youth will sell... shouldn't the YOUTH be making them? And make the bed...who makes their bed? What a waste of time, time better spent strumming on a guitar.

Jeannie said...

I just started saying NO. Sorry, I'm only human and I'm overwhelmed.

Anonymous said...

So Kettle, you know I can't say anything helpful about this, because I have "yes-itis" as bad as you do, except that whoever Brandie is, who left the fabulous comment, I love her. She's my new hero.
And Arranger was not meant as a bad thing--it's a good thing. I wish I could arrange as well as you. "Arrange" doesn't necessarily have to mean "do," apparently. I hear there is this thing called "delegating." Some day I may check it out.
Love ya lots, miss you more,
Pot (AKA Assassin)

Living in Muddy Waters said...

But I guess my question is how do I let things just go undone? That's my problem. I can't stand it. It's easy to say just say no, but I have this overwhelming need make sure things don't fail. It's a sickness...seriously.

Anonymous said...

How do you let things go undone? Just don't do them. You will find out that the world doesn't fall apart. I suggest taking just one day at a time. The first day, don't make the bed. Find out the world still functions. Then maybe the next day try something else. You will feel such a great relief to realize that not everything has to get done!

Linda and Denny said...

I too, was an arranger. Then my mother died this year and I told my siblings that I was not coming home for Christmas and that it was time for them to make their own holiday tradition instead of relying upon me to create this fabulous Christmas get-together/memory. It's a start....

Paige said...

I get your need to do it all-- I am the same way. I am sick as a dog right now and stayed hoome from work, but I still supervised the floor installers, watered and fed 45 horses, took care of a sick dog and went to the pharmacy for more drugs.

And I dont have kids!

If I did not do those things, I could not sleep. So it is self-preservation really.