In 8 months I will be forty years old. In 8 months I will also be celebrating my 15th wedding anniversary. It seemed like only yesterday I was a twenty-something watching "When Harry Met Sally" listening to Meg Ryan bemoaning the fact that she was going to be forty. When Billy Crystal asked when, she replies "Someday!" I thought that was so funny...then. But now forty is barreling down on me and I am feeling the need to make a change and cross off a major and not so major player on my bucket list. I wasn't going to post about this, but, out of the blue, my brother's name was in the comics today and it made me think about all he missed out on by taking his own life. I don't want to get to 60 and still be dreaming about these things that I have been dreaming about for years.
First and foremost, I want to lose 40 pounds in the next 8 months. I'm calling it my 40 by 40 journey. I have been very honest about my food addiction and weight problems and I have PCOS. My PCOS is so bad, in fact, that I had an ovarian cyst rupture on the Fourth of July. Talk about seeing fireworks! So saying this out loud is very scary. But I feel sometimes like I lean on my PCOS like a crutch. I know it makes it so much more difficult to lose weight, so I always have an excuse for why I am not. But today, blog-world, I am taking away my excuse. I am going turn over a new leaf and try again, good or bad, to lose weight. This blog is not going to become about my weight loss adventure, but I will, from time to time update you on how I am doing. I feel like if I have a hundred strangers or so holding me accountable, I might be less willing to justify having a snow cone as often as I have been (the snow cone shack is SO close!)
Next, I want to play one song on my guitar in church by my fortieth birthday. I don't care if it is the simplest hymn in the world, I want to play something! I haven't been able to pick up my guitar this summer since I have my daughter with me all the time, but she goes back to school in 2 weeks and I am going to make sure to make time to learn. Plus the director of the Arts Council and I were talking about bartering for my time. E wants to learn to play the violin, so instead of them paying me, thay may do a service exchange for me with the violin and guitar teacher. It would be a very even trade considering how expensive lessons are.
Lastly, I want to go to Santa Fe with my husband for our anniversary and my birthday, just the 2 of us, no E! I have wanted to go to Santa Fe ever since I visited it when I was 5 years old. It has been a dream for so long that it is a part of me and every time I see Santa Fe on the tv, I stop and just stare longingly at the pictures. We've never before been able to even contemplate going because of money and the extreme distance, but I am determined to make it. If I have to eat nothing but beans and rice for the next 8 months, I am going to put enough money away to get to Santa Fe!
So there you have it. For those of you who live comfortably and exercise properly and are musically gifted, you may be scoffing at me right now. "Those are her dreams? HA!" But they are. This is what I want. I want my next 40 years to be better than my first 40 years.
I wanted to update you on my dog. He went to the vet on Monday and got a slew of medicines. He is slowly getting better and the better he feels, the more the "raptor" returns. He is playing again and making my daughter laugh harder than she has since our move, so he is well worth the money spent to cure him. I am sorry I can't post pictures of him here, Bubblewench. Friend me on FB and you can see him there.