Saturday, June 27, 2009

Lost in Time

I'm sorry I have been absent. We only got internet access late last night. We still don't have tv so it took me a day and a half to hear Michael Jackson died. I swear, I feel like I have stepped back in time.

The new town we live in is like something directly out of a southern gothic novel. Our new city has rows and rows of old victorians and smaller, mill town-like houses. We bike ride through the quiet streets to get to the downtown, passing old oaks and tall pines. We live on the water, but not on the coast, so after every rainfall the intersections flood until the water can evaporate. There's not a lot of paid admission stuff to do here, but we spend our days walking around the multiple farmer's markets, going to the Y or, today, we were at one of our church member's house on the river and E had her first taste of river swimming. It's like the old lemonade commercials, I swear!

I have been fairly overwhelmed by strangers trying to make me feel welcome. I tried very hard to be friendly and gracious without losing sight of the fact that I am really very shy and don't want to give anyone a false impression about who I am. I haven't volunteered for anything, although I have been asked and I haven't offended anyone (at least, not that I know of).

Our new house is small, but the church put a lot of time into cleaning it and fixing it up. It sounds as if the last pastoral family really fell behind in keeping it clean. I have also been hearing whispers of displeasure about the last pastor. That's pretty standard, but I'm trying to keep my ears open without adding any flames to the fire. I will say, I keep finding kitchen cabinets open, even when I KNOW I have closed them. Spooky.

I have not had a chance to look for a job, but everyone knows everyone else here. And a lot of our church members are big wigs in the community. I have a feeling once I decide what I want to do with my life, I will have someone who can set me up.

Other than that, I'm still trying to sort through life right now. The women's circle had taken me out for lunch and they were all sitting around laughing and talking like women who had known each other 20 years (which they have) and for the first time I felt sad. No one here is the Assassin or Charlitan. No on is R or D or J. I'm sure in time some of them will become my good friends and we will laugh and talk like old buddies, but for now, I am just a little lost...and lonely.


Jeannie said...

It must be so hard settling in. They will have unrealistic expectations of you. And you have to learn the established pecking orders and get your boundaries set up before they steamroll you. I'm sure everyone is trying to be kind but it's not home yet. I couldn't do your job.

Anonymous said...

Ah. But you have us. Your secret weapon in the war on sanity.

/ DW

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry you're lonely. But we're only a phone call away (just don't call during family game night with a five-year-old, too stressful!). Church was weird today. I was lonely, too. And I've been there eight years. All my friends were gone. I had to step up and be emergency lay reader--assassin saves the day ONE LAST TIME. But no more, bwah ha ha. I can't wait to see your town, it sounds so QUAINT. And you know I'm a sucker for quaint!!
<3 Assassin

Anonymous said...

I'd be real tempted to say out loud in the kitchen, "I know you're there so quit leaving the doors open please!"

Bubblewench said...

I know the move is tough on you. New place, new people, new expectations of self...

We're all here for you. You are not alone.


Charli-tan said...

Well, of COURSE no one is me!!! LOL! But I am ever present, the hyper Yin to your calm Yang!!! The new town sounds awesome and it sounds like a better place in general. How far is it from Ohio (I say that as if i EVER travel, but one neevr knows!)
I am inspired by your stories... a fresh start every so often! Maybe I should just take the county buyout even though I don't have a job lined up and see what happens? I'm Sooo tempted!
How is your mom doing?

Green said...

I want to give you a big hug. I just moved too. Even though I lived in this neighborhood before, I'm having a really hard time in this apartment. I hope it gets better for both of us, pronto. And that your ghosts are friendly ones.