Monday, May 25, 2009

A Visit Home

Hubby and I decided we needed some time alone this weekend before we moved, so we left E with the grandparents and went to a B&B about 90 minutes up the road in a really small town. We had a great time even though we had nothing to do since it was Sunday. That didn't matter, we were just happy to be together. We decided on our way home to just meander through the backwoods of our state. We wandered hither and yon and ended up in Pop 259. Our old house wasn't being kept up very well and that made me sad. But we passed a building that triggered a memory that I can't believe I haven't written about. I think I wrote about it on my former blog, but this is one you just won't believe.

Pop 259 is an old railroad town that actually had a small heyday. The downtown is now run-down and mostly empty, but the old high school is still used, albeit by a business and not as a school. The school is so old that it has one of those freestanding gyms with the big giant fans to circulate the air and bleachers that are built-ins and immovable. The building is about 90 years old and still used by the local kids.

One day while I was living there, a few people I knew wanted to get together and jam and see if we might form a band. I knew the mayor fairly well and she let us use the gym as a place to practice since no one's house could really sustain two guitarists, a drummer and singer. We hauled all of our gear into the old gym, prayed the electrical outlets could sustain the modern equipment and started playing. I was singing away, having a great time. I still remember what we were practicing, it was Under the Boardwalk. As I was singing, I just happened to look up into the rafters and noticed something dangling on a beam. It was quite long, about 4 1/2 feet. It looked like an old rope that had been left up there by high schoolers. I remember thinking to myself that those fans must be really powerful to make that rope wiggle so wildly that high up. Only it wasn't a rope.

As I watched in horror, the rope fell out of the rafters and dropped at my feet. Did I mention it wasn't a rope? There I stood, screaming into the microphone trying to get the band's attention, hoping they would rescue me from the giant snake that was now sharing too much of my personal body space. The snake and I looked at each other and then it slithered away. The band finally stopped playing and couldn't understand why I was making such a big deal out of a chicken snake. I'm not a country girl and for all I knew, it was a friggin' anaconda. But no one but me was freaked out that snakes were falling from the sky, so we continued. But to this day whenever I go into a really old building, I look up, just in case.

And as for the person who thinks I should rename my blog and that I do nothing but bitch and whine, you have the option to not read my blog. It's as simple as that. I don't put stuff in my blog so people will feel sorry for me. Most of the time I want people to laugh at all the crap with me. I have read other pastor's wives blogs and very few of us are actually saying it how it is. They are afraid of reprisal or being found out. But I have had enough comments from other wives to know they need this blog. For whatever reason, they have no outlet and need to know someone else is going through what they are going through. So I am not going to change. I am going to bitch and rant and tell you the terrible things that happen to me. You can laugh or cry or shake your head at me. You can even be pissed off at me and think I am the worst person in the world. That's your right, but it's my right to say what I want on my blog. Oh, and by the way, comment moderation will remain open for the time being. It seems idiots can hide behind AIM accounts so there's really no reason to close comments.

I am Living in Muddy Waters!


Anonymous said...

My name is Wanda and I live in Colorado Springs, Co and I came across your blog because of the NEXT BLOG feature. Why should we not share our thoughts good or bad? If you don't like them, turn off the comments feature. We can't all have your opinion or view of the world. I left a message to challenge you in your thinking because in reading what you write you seem like you are a very mad and angry person who doesn't want the life she is living. Do you act this way in front of E and hubby? I hope not. It just seems that in what I have read in your blog you are very unhappy. Is that true?


BusyBee said...

Well, Wanda wants your thots good or bad, but then wants to critique you. WTH? This is your share it with us. You make me laugh. You're a normal person caught in having to live to higher standards cuz of what you DO. Same here. Cut loose - not all of us will take that chance. :)

Living in Muddy Waters said...

Dear Wanda, you may comment on my blog all you like. And you may challenge me and disagree with me. I just ask that it be done in a civil manner. Tamjenic has been reading my stuff from my other blog and is a no-holds barred kind of commenter and is one of my favorite people to hear from. So I am not afraid to be challenged. I just ask that you respect the parameters I set.

As for being unhappy, I am a medium happy person who lives in a fishbowl. I have a very loving relationship with my husband and anyone will tell you my daughter is one of the happiest kids they know. I use my blog to vent and it helps in real life.

I have said from the start that I am a person that is a little lost in who I am and where I am going, but I am taking baby steps to find my way. But I never want anyone to feel sorry for me. I want to make people laugh. I want to make people realize that there are others out there who feel like them, even when they can't write it the same way.

So Wanda, I invite you to keep commenting, but please, as you read my stuff, remember it is all just writing. I am purposely writing to get a reaction from people. Which obviously I do with you.

Bubblewench said...

I love this blog. Glad to hear you will keep it as it.

Not once have I ever questioned the happiness you have with your family. Maybe some of (not all) of your circumstances, but in a very just and valid way.

We do have more in common then we realize sometimes. I may not be a pastors wife and mother, but I am a women who questions her faith, circumstances and sometimes, personal decisions.

There are lots of us out here that do.

I see you as passionate and trying to make the most of the life you live. And I do mean LIVE. No holds barred.

Keep it up. I for one applaud you. Some of the questions you raise for yourself (and others) are not easy.

charli-tan said...

Oh Damn Cookie!

You know how I feel! your home = your rules.


Also? SNAKE!!!!!

charli-tan said...

Oh and to Wanda,

Hi there!
I know LIMW in real life.
What you see here is not what you get. It's just a blog. She is not a walking pendulum of misery. (Also, she has great hair. she should write about it more. LIMW, write about your hair!!! I love your hair!)
But, man, wait until she gets around to writing the things she HASN'T shared yet! What a life..!

Anonymous said...


I hope I'm not too forward, keyboard courage & all that.

I'm just someone who's had boundary issues too.

I came across you blog by accident & enjoy reading. I think I'm too thin skinned to have my own blog. The anonymous (and why are all the worst anonymous..cowardly *****'s)comments would depress me & skeeve me out.

Well, Wanda did leave her name.. but I find that if I feel negatively about a site, I just move on. There's plenty out there for me to like & be positive about. Why bother pissing in someone's cheerios on the pretext of being 'challenging'?

Anonymous said...

I am SO GLAD you opened up again because I've missed saying hi! But I have been reading, every day, faithfully.

I think Wanda needs to get her own blog. She can call it the happy sparkly pants I;m better than you blog. Really, lady. No one FORCES you to read all this angry stuff. Issues!

Ah, so nice to be back, LIMW!

/ dw

Suffer Kate said...

I'm new and late to the game, but I live in Tennessee and I found myself looking in Google images at photos of certain snakes to be COMPLETELY, TOTALLY CERTAIN that I could identify them. We went canoeing down the Buffalo River, and there were water vipers everywhere.