Tuesday, May 5, 2009


I've been feeling really down and lost lately. Our current church is revving up their woe-is-me angst at our leaving, our soon-to-be-new church is contacting us almost everyday trying to share their excitement but really just pushing boundaries, E's lovely teacher, and my school situation which is unbearable. The Head of School still won't let me make the announcement that I am leaving, but the preschool director has obviously told a few people out of turn, forcing me into a position of lying by omission. I hate lying, even if it is just semantics. And my boss....don't even ask.

Plus, I am not picking up the guitar as quickly as I had hoped. I am learning notes right now, but can only manage E, G and F. I try to play B,C and D and my fingers feel like sausages trying to walk a tight rope. So, needless to say, I have felt very discouraged and depressed and my lovely low self-esteem is punching me in the gut going "See, I told you you can't do anything right."

But today, my 4 year old student who coined the term "Fratterday" and asked another student if he wanted to "enjoy him" wrote me a note. The note said "I love when Muddy sings, it makes my ears happy." It was just what I needed to get me through a very rough day. Thanks Universe.


tamjenic said...

Don't get discouraged with the guitar. These things take time. And lots and lots and lots of practice.

Did I mention practice?

~former band geek

Jeannie said...

If someone directly asks you if you are leaving, I would simply say yes. Why lie if they've already heard?

I am guitar-playing challenged. My fingers and wrists simply do not seem to bend in the necessary ways. My son suggests holding the guitar in a non-traditional stance to make it easier. But I will just stick with piano - it hurts less.

things will get better. And they will get bad again. Life goes in cycles.