Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Fluff

Once Wanda came out of the closet, she got a lot more respect from me. And she's right, I have been kind of dreary lately. But I also got to thinking, maybe I spend too much time talking about what's happening TO me and not enough what makes me who I am. You all might understand me better (and my sarcasm) if I share some silly things about myself.

SO...number 1. I am addicted to white potatoes. I am so addicted that I can't allow myself to eat them or I will crave them for weeks. Seriously! I like white potatoes boiled, fried, hashed, stuffed, smothered, seared, roasted, toasted and baked. And I can't stop eating them when I am full. I have to eat every single potato morsel in front of me, even if it is on someone else's plate. Needless to say, I don't eat potatoes very often.

Number 2. I am a sucker for real people in need. I can tell the fakes from the non-fakes but I can't stand to see someone in need. It physically hurts me. A news report came out recently talking about the extraordinarily large amount of kids under 5 who are not getting enough to eat. Now I have it in my head that when we move, I am going to raise chickens so I can give fresh eggs to the local food bank.

Number 3. I feel ghosts. I have only actually seen one ghost. It was a lady in a mirror at an old movie theater in Bexley, OH. But probably the best example of how I feel them was at the Castillo in St. Augustine. Hubby and I were walking around and came to a little room in the very back of a larger room. It was dark and very creepy. I whispered to Hubby that I could feel a prisoner sitting in shackles and rags in the back corner. I couldn't see it, but I just knew. Right after that Hubby read a plaque that stated no one really knew what the room was for, but some believe it might have held prisoners. Um, you think? As a matter of fact, I am trying to get the confidence up to write about my grand-daddy ghost experience of all, but I am afraid I will really appear like I need to be locked up.

Number 4. I am madly, passionately in love with my husband. But you knew that, didn't you? Why else would I stay for all of the church stuff? I believe good marriages either involve two people who are one half of a whole and both need each other desperately or two complete independent wholes who agree to live together and don't need each other at all, but want to be with that person. You can't successfully mix the two. Hubby and I are two halves.

Number 5. One of my solidly consistent goals in life is to one day own an RV and travel around to natural disasters to sit and have coffee or tea with the victims. I have been through a lot of hurricanes, so I know how important it is to have human contact after tragedy.

Number 6. Contrary to popular opinion (ANDIE) I do not have great hair. I have horribly big, coarse, out of control crone hair that defies any styling gel, mousse or cut. It's got a mind of its own. I leave it long, because if I cut it short, it flies into orbit and drives me insane.

Number 7. I have a tattoo that I got when I was 31 because I needed to buck the assumptions about a pastor's wife. Whenever I get into a conversation I would rather not be having and I have to behave, I imagine it glowing and taunting the person I am talking to. (Okay, that makes me sound weird, but that's okay)

Number 8. I am terrified of wasps but not bees, tornadoes but not lightning, and snakes but not lizards.

Number 9. I once had to break up a fight in which one of the offenders was Frank Capra Jr. And a late 70's sitcom star who shall rename nameless (think waitress) once threw a martini at me because I actually put a touch of vermouth in it. Okay, maybe that's not about me...but I wanted to put it here.

AND lastly, but not least, I am addicted to Legend of the Seeker. It's cheesy, fantasy drivel and I plan on watching each episode on Hulu, probably twice!

So, Green, I do plan on going back and trying to explain the inner sanctum of churches, and Wanda, I am sorry I called you an idiot. You made sense to me when you responded, so if you stay, feel free to comment. But for today, ya'll get FLUFF!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure the apology at the end was actually required. When I go to someone else's home, I respect that it is their home, not mine. So I don't criticize where they put the furniture. Just sayin'.

AND - I, too, love potatoes. Mmmm.

/ dw

Charli-tan said...

LIAR!!!

You have GREAT hair!!! Awesome, thick long hair that GROWS!!!

AWESEOME HAIR!

that is all.

Charli-tan said...

P.S. all the rest is true! :-)

Bubblewench said...

And I'm dying to know what your tat is now...

Anonymous said...

I love ghost stories! I've never seen one, but have felt a few and heard their noisy footsteps, slammed doors, and one moan.

Wide Lawns said...

I'm with you on the white potatoes. We should start a white potato addiction support group.