So this past week I've been reading Wide Lawns adventures with an amorous peacock. Her description of this bird pecking away at her car just cracked me up as I shook my head and thought that only WL could have that happen. I mean, no one gets attacked by birds. No one but her....or so I thought.
I was driving to E's school today when I saw two seagulls fighting over something red in the middle of an intersection I was fast approaching. I got closer and closer to the birds, running at them at a fairly rapid pace when they took flight, each with a red, floppy thing dangling from their mouths. I was watching them, wondering what the hell they had when I just happened to drive under them.
So, do you know what they had in their mouths? TOMATOES! Do you know how I know this? Because they both dropped the damn tomatoes at the same time right onto my windshield as I was driving 50 miles an hour. Have you ever had tomatoes hit your windshield at high speed? It's disgusting. There is a bloody red smear that slides up the window and you're trying to look at oncoming traffic through seeds and goo. And what do you do? Do you turn on your windshield and risk spreading the mayhem? Or do you leave it and try to get to a safe place to stop and clean it off without injuring yourself or others?
Luckily I was very close to a gas station and could pull over and clean the windshield. But in all my years in theater, I never actually thought I would get pelted with tomatoes, much less from birds.
So Wide Lawns, I see your peacock and raise you two seagulls with good aim!