Two days ago E came home with a math paper that she had to redo because she had gotten the problems wrong. She looked at me with the saddest eyes and told me it made her feel dumb. I looked right back at her and told her that she wasn't dumb, that her teacher had made a bad choice in sending her out of math and her daddy and I fully blame her teacher, not her. I also told her that her daddy and I should have not allowed her to go to the gifted class during math, so we were to blame, too. I assured her that we would work harder on her math and she would catch up. I think this must have set something free in her because that night she took me aside before she went to bed and told me about some issues she was having with two of the boys in her class FOR THE PAST 6 WEEKS. She is in a reading group with them and apparently they have been yelling at her. When I asked why she didn't tell her teacher, she said people have to flip cards (a form of discipline) for tattling.
Actually, let me back up, she is in a reading group with 4 boys and her. It used to be 5, but one moved away. FOUR BOYS AND ONE GIRL!!! For those of you going "What's the big deal?", look online at all the statistics that show girls need to be in mixed gender groups or single gender groups. A teacher in his or her right mind would go out of his or her way to mix up the groups, even a little. I was talking to the second grade teachers at my school about this and they were just aghast!
Anywho, these boys have been preventing her from doing her assignment and when she tries to take part they yell at her. I emailed her teacher and used the big words, like "bully" and "aggressive behavior" words that by our state law demands actions on the school's part. Her teacher took her and the two boys in question into the office and essentially told E that the boys were not "teasing her" (E's term) but merely correcting her, as they are told to do. The teacher said it is the students' responsibilty to correct other students when they see someone doing something wrong. E was then made to APOLOGIZE to the boys. E was taught by her teacher at that moment that it is okay to let people treat you badly.
I told her in no uncertain terms that that was not okay and she is to speak up if it happens again.
Hubby went in to the school today and requested a conference for tomorrow morning. Why, you might ask am I not going? Well, I have a violent temper and I am not sure that I can manage myself in an adult manner. Seriously. I am so pissed off by this turn of events that I have been having nightmares where I am just screaming and yelling at people. But, we are not a Jerry Springer family and we will not let a teacher turn E into one. So Hubby, the more even-keeled one of us, is going in. If he isn't satisfied, his next move will be straight into the principal's office. And if that doesn't work, he's going to tell them they don't want me getting involved because I'll take it all the way to the superintendent of schools. And I will. I once had a bank VP write a personal letter of apology to me and sanction an employee because I get that tough and dogged.
I am not going to make it as a parent. I'm just glad I came off the topamax a couple of weeks ago. It was making me feel agressive and I was losing my hair. I can only imagine what would have happened if I hadn't stopped it. Because right now, I just want to take that teacher by her hair and swing her into a wall. And that's without the medicated aggression.