I suspect some of you have been wondering why I haven't followed up with what happened after Hubby broke the news to our church on Sunday. To tell you the truth, this has been an incredibly painful past few days and I just haven't had the energy to sit down and put it into words. I'm finding it hard to write this even now, so I will give you what I can.
Hubby announced at the end of the service that we would be relocated and that the church would be losing its full-time status. You could have heard a pin drop. People started crying and one woman even stood up, lost her balance and fell and broke her wrist. Then people swarmed, looking for answers I couldn't give. People at our church love my husband and now that they realize they are losing him, they feel that the church is going to die. My husband purposely set about to create a home for religious misfits, a place where the people who had no place felt comfortable. So you can imagine how much more keenly they felt a sense of loss.
But then things became surreal. The staff committee started telling people they had no idea this was coming. Even though they had met for over 90 minutes with Hubby's boss to discuss this very thing. Even though they had set goals in the fall that had to be reached by January or else. They just refused to tell the truth as a whole. Not only did they refuse to be honest, they have been trying to rally everyone into coming to a closed meeting with Hubby's boss to try to convince him to keep Hubby here. It's just making it worse. There's not a chance of us staying now, so they're just making it look like Hubby can't control his own congregation.
On top of that, the woman I work for announced this week that she would not be returning in the fall. The announcement is going out to parents on Sunday. So I get to go through this whole situation again when MY announcement is made, because parents are going to be FURIOUS at losing both teaching partners for a Montessori classroom (we keep kids in each classroom for 3 years). Of course, I'm going to take the heat because my announcement's going to come last.
And lastly, Hubby and I aren't working too well together in all of this. We're both just a tad out of step in our relationship for some reason and it's making all of this seem so much bigger. I just feel really unable to deal with everything after how rough this year has been. I want to cry and kick and scream but I just feel really dull inside.
But I keep telling myself, this too shall pass. People need to grieve. But all I want to do is tuck my head under the covers and not come out until June!