For those of you who are following my Topamax/weight loss journey, I had a doctor's appointment on Friday. In 4 months I have lost 7 pounds. I sat in the doctor's office after stepping off the scale terrified of what my doctor was going to say. That's not a lot of weight lost. Old scary doctor would have belittled me and told me I wasn't really trying. New doctor came in and congratulated me. I was stunned. He could tell I was stunned and asked me why. I told him that old doctor accused me of being lazy. To which he replied, "Your blood pressure is down to 100/70, so you are obviously exercising. You have no swelling in your ankles, so I know you are not eating salty or fatty foods, so that leads me to believe you are trying to eat a healthy diet and 7 pounds lost is no weight gained. You should be proud of yourself." And after all of the horrible battles I have had with my weight this past couple of years, when he put it that way...I was!
Now, onto why I hate Facebook. Yesterday, after I posted my little jaunt down memory lane, I checked my email and there, slapping me in my face was the name of the man who single-handedly caused me more pain than any other person...EVER! My first boyfriend tried to "friend" me. I have had 3 1/2 men in my life. I say 1/2 because one was a friend with benefits who is still a part of my life today and lasted longer than anyone except Hubby. But this guy, this guy caused me ANGUISH.
I was 19 and we met through a mutual friend. He was a nature guy who followed a lot of Native American religion. We hiked a lot and had a mutual love of the outdoors. We spent hours talking before we realized there was a relationship forming. Our relationship was short-lived, however, because he was just too immature. He played games and ignored me. When I would try to break-up he would say he loved me and he was sorry and I would fall for it. You know the drill. Finally I wised up and walked away. But my heart was broken. I did learn from it, however, and promised myself I would never let myself be treated that way again. I was true to that promise, which is why I think Hubby and I found each other. I knew what I had in him.
So anywho, flash forward almost 20 years and there's his name in my inbox. Now I know most people just 'friend' on FB for popularity reasons. Those with the most names win. But I don't. I only friend people I care about. I gasped when I saw his name. Hubby thought I was having a heart attack and got pretty mad at me when I truly couldn't talk for a few minutes as I sat grappling with a panic attack. That's how much power this name had over me. What did old boyfriend want? Was this just a popularity thing? Did he want to make contact and apologize for being an ass all those years ago? Was I overthinking? Should I delete?
So, after mulling it over for hours, I friended him and haven't heard a thing. So there you go. It meant nothing to him. Just like I really meant nothing to him all of those years ago. But you know what? I'm a lot older and wiser now and if he bugs me this time, I have the power of DELETE!!!