Monday, March 30, 2009

Odds and Ends

For those of you who are following my Topamax/weight loss journey, I had a doctor's appointment on Friday. In 4 months I have lost 7 pounds. I sat in the doctor's office after stepping off the scale terrified of what my doctor was going to say. That's not a lot of weight lost. Old scary doctor would have belittled me and told me I wasn't really trying. New doctor came in and congratulated me. I was stunned. He could tell I was stunned and asked me why. I told him that old doctor accused me of being lazy. To which he replied, "Your blood pressure is down to 100/70, so you are obviously exercising. You have no swelling in your ankles, so I know you are not eating salty or fatty foods, so that leads me to believe you are trying to eat a healthy diet and 7 pounds lost is no weight gained. You should be proud of yourself." And after all of the horrible battles I have had with my weight this past couple of years, when he put it that way...I was!

Now, onto why I hate Facebook. Yesterday, after I posted my little jaunt down memory lane, I checked my email and there, slapping me in my face was the name of the man who single-handedly caused me more pain than any other person...EVER! My first boyfriend tried to "friend" me. I have had 3 1/2 men in my life. I say 1/2 because one was a friend with benefits who is still a part of my life today and lasted longer than anyone except Hubby. But this guy, this guy caused me ANGUISH.

I was 19 and we met through a mutual friend. He was a nature guy who followed a lot of Native American religion. We hiked a lot and had a mutual love of the outdoors. We spent hours talking before we realized there was a relationship forming. Our relationship was short-lived, however, because he was just too immature. He played games and ignored me. When I would try to break-up he would say he loved me and he was sorry and I would fall for it. You know the drill. Finally I wised up and walked away. But my heart was broken. I did learn from it, however, and promised myself I would never let myself be treated that way again. I was true to that promise, which is why I think Hubby and I found each other. I knew what I had in him.

So anywho, flash forward almost 20 years and there's his name in my inbox. Now I know most people just 'friend' on FB for popularity reasons. Those with the most names win. But I don't. I only friend people I care about. I gasped when I saw his name. Hubby thought I was having a heart attack and got pretty mad at me when I truly couldn't talk for a few minutes as I sat grappling with a panic attack. That's how much power this name had over me. What did old boyfriend want? Was this just a popularity thing? Did he want to make contact and apologize for being an ass all those years ago? Was I overthinking? Should I delete?

So, after mulling it over for hours, I friended him and haven't heard a thing. So there you go. It meant nothing to him. Just like I really meant nothing to him all of those years ago. But you know what? I'm a lot older and wiser now and if he bugs me this time, I have the power of DELETE!!!


Anonymous said...

I would unfriend him immediately. You don't need to drag this bad karma around as you move on.

I only have a business profile because there is one boyfriend, and his third ex wife, who I DO NOT WANT to find me. They both caused me years of pain and tears and grief to the extent that 10 years later I am still afraid.


tamjenic said...

I would unfriend him too. I'm not really into facebook, only have a few relatives.

I've made it a point to stay anonymous on the interwebs; I signed up on class mates if someone really wants to know what happened to me, hey can email me that way.

charli-tan said...

OMG, I had the same kind of freaky panic attack anxiety thinkg when I first found my old theatre department one FB and saw all those old faces. But after a day I remembered that I am not the same person as I was then and for the most part, neither are any of them (in a good way). Those that are the same.. well as you said.. DELETE!
AS for the ex.. if his presence continues to cause you grief, get rid of it. Right on!

lurker0214 said...

unfriend! unfriend! I had the same experience w/ FBk and an ex. I just clicked "ignore". The last thing I wanted was for him to have a window into my life, however small. Every picture of my family, any time I actually post a random thought..... ick.

Bubblewench said...

I would totally block his ass. F that! You Don't need him as a friend, even as a fake one.

Bubblewench said...

And I forgot the best thing in that post.

1) you have a great doc.

2) CONGRATS! That's awesome! Like he said, loss is not a gain. I'm struggling with it right now too. I'm jealous. You should be very proud. On the right path.