Sunday, March 1, 2009

Cause you've gotta have faith....

Dear Readers,

I have posted this story before, but someone posted a comment anonymously and I think it is something he or she needs to hear. Yes, for all of my questions and rants and refusals to name my higher being, I do have faith...and this is why:

When E was 2 1/2 and we had just moved back to this town, Hubby came down with a nasty bacterial infection. Because we hadn't been here but a month or two, we hadn't found a general practitioner, so he decided he would go to an Urgent Care. Quite coincidentally that afternoon I took E to the Death-Defying Playground across the street from the Urgent Care. He was stuck there for several hours while E and I were spending a pleasant evening playing away.

Just as we were packing up to leave, Hubby finally escaped and decided he would meet us at the park. E was tired and it was late, so we weren't going to stay. Hubby jokingly asked E who she would like to drive home with. I say jokingly because she had never, EVER, when given that option, chosen him. She was 2, she was very mommy-centered and she always chose to come home in my car.

But that day, for the very first time, she chose to go home in Daddy's car. I was bereft. I felt like the last kid chosen in elementary school for kick ball. I even tried to talk her out of it. But she was insistent. She wanted to ride home with Daddy. So off they went, ahead of me.

As I was driving home, I came to a stop at a red light on the busiest road in our town. I looked in my rearview mirror just in time to see an old 1988 Chevy truck barrelling towards me at 70 mph. The man was eating a hamburger and talking on his cell phone and never even saw me. He plowed into me. My driver's seat broke as my body was pulled back. My back seat was pushed forward and crumpled as all of the back windows shattered around me. My car was destroyed. A nice man who had been in the car in front of me (who I managed to steer around and avoid) got out and told me to say still while he called EMT's.

When the EMT's arrived, they surveyed the scene and the very first question they asked (after seeing my daughter's car seat) was "Ma'am, where is your child?" I looked around, unable to answer that immediately. Where was my child? I had just had her at the park. She always came home with me. Suddenly, like a high pitched waterfall bursting from my mouth, I screamed, "SHE'S WITH HER DADDY!!!! SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE WITH ME BUT SHE WANTED TO RIDE HOME WITH HER DADDY!!!!" The EMT just looked at me and said "Ma'am, I hope you say a prayer of thanks today."

I said many prayers that day, and still do today. So yes, anon, I do have faith. And I do pray. Just in my own way and without labels or laws. I don't know where I am in this religious world, but I do believe a Higher Power told my daughter to ride home with her Daddy that day. Because the EMT told me she would have died had she been in the car. Just to tie up loose ends, the driver of the truck had been on drugs and tried to sue me after my claim had been closed because he claimed I hit him, but all in all no one was injured and all was resolved.

And on a side note, today is the day Hubby is telling the church we will be leaving. Keep us in your thoughts. Our road is about to get rocky.


Jeannie said...

The God that lets trucks smash into us also tells some of us to get out of the way sometimes. The truck is about to smash into your life but you can always choose to ride with your Daddy.

I don't know how this makes any sense, or why it is comforting but somehow it does and is.

Anonymous said...

I relate to you on so many levels with the religion thing that I totally get what you are saying. You sound like a great bunch, the three of you. You will end up where you are supposed to end up and you will have Hubby and E so all will be as it is supposed to be.

I am keeping you in my heart today as the shit storm you are about to enter begins.

/ dw

FreeDragon said...


cbrks12 said...

A few times I have thought to add a comment that says 'Pray about it, God will answer.' Then I know that! This blog is your place to let the human out. Your faith can be shaken, your faith can be tried, and it can be questioned but in the end, your faith is YOURS. You're about to go through a trial, but the lessons you are forced to learn through it will make you stronger in the end.

Bubblewench said...

There are forces that work in mysterious ways.. this gave me goosebumps.

Now to go find out what happened after he gave the news.

I think we really have a lot of similiar views about faith...