Tuesday, February 3, 2009

World's Greatest Dad

Several years ago I started a blog on another site at a time in my life when my husband and I were on the verge of divorce. We, actually, I had come out and said the D word and things were at a stand still in our relationship. I needed the blog to reach out to my real-life friends, to get their support and to vent my feelings in a way that Hubby could read and comprehend what I was feeling without getting the full brunt of my very intense personality, which tends to just shut him down. It was a very useful tool in our relationship to get us back on track. So even today you may think when I talk about him I run hot and cold with the things I say. He's okay with whatever I say because he knows that I love him unconditionally and whatever I put in here are things that come from a place of love.

Fast forward to our relationship now and we are in a far better place. I have always loved my husband. Our deterioration of our marriage was never about a lack of love on either of our parts, it was about a lack of communication. He drifted away and I let him. But luckily I wasn't willing to give up that easily. And we worked things out. We could be divorced and married to other people 20 years and still be drawn back into each others arms in a heartbeat. Our love for each other is just THAT type of love. But whatever kind of husband Hubby has been, he has always been an unfaltering wonderful father.

I have been half-teasing him lately that our daughter is never going to get married because she is never going to find a man who lives up to her daddy in her eyes. Hubby makes sure he spends time with her each and every day. If he is out of town, she is allowed to pick up the phone and call anytime and he always answers. They are both athletic and he has taught her how to shoot a basket, roller blade, play tennis and soccer. He reads to her at night and I hear him in the bedroom making funny voices for all the characters and their laughter echoes through our house. It is something that is so sweet it actually makes my heart hurt with love for the two of them. They snuggle on the couch together and they look so much alike and so content to be together that I feel a little tug of jealousy that I am outside of their little circle, even though I hold my own place in both of their worlds.

But today I got to see first hand the result of E having such a wonderful dad. All school year long E has been telling me about this boy, R. R is her "boyfriend." When a Queen Bee/Mean Bee kind of girl decided to torment E, R stood up and defended her and took her over to play with his friends. She always comes home and talks about the fun she has with him and how nice he is, but I never really took it to heart, because, well...they're 7. But today I had lunch with E at school and R sat next to her. Let me tell you, he was the sweetest, most respectful little boy I have ever met and he cherished the ground my daughter walked on. She burned her hand on her hot pocket lunch and he picked up her milk carton and told her to hold it since it was cold. I know, it seems silly, but for 2nd grade it was such a chivalrous gesture. He would turn to the boys next to him and they would burp and make arm pit noises, but the minute E spoke to him, he would turn and smile and his world would stop while they talked. As a mom who is scared of what lies ahead when her daughter turns into a teenager and is dealing with boys who don't respect themselves, much less girls, it gave me just a little bit of hope.

So to all you dads out there who are taking the time to show your sons how to treat women, THANKS! And to all you dads who are taking the time to show your daughter that she deserves respect, THANKS! And to my hubby, you go right ahead and teach our daughter to burp the alphabet. Obviously you know just what you're doing and I shouldn't change a thing.


Anonymous said...

"Fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughers,too...

Or how about that newer song... shit, who sings it...?..

"Please, daddy please.. so I danced with Cinderella...."....


Deb said...

I know what you mean, my 8 year old daughter had a boy who was her friend NOT a "boyfriend" she stated, the last two years. He was such a nice boy and it was so sweet to see his face light up and smile when she got out of the car. They would walk together to class and sit on the bench to talk before class. They were the best of friends. His family moved away this summer and Molly misses him, I just hope she remembers how he treated her when she does start dating, although my husband says it won't be until she is 35! HA