I wasn't going to put any more energy into my situation with my boss this week, but an anonymous commenter struck a nerve with me and I wanted to clarify a few things. The commenter suggested I try to make myself available to my boss, befriend her, and treat her as I would my kids, repeat what she says and make sure she feels heard. I totally agree with this. But... I have tried all of these things. My boss was singing in a choir concert and I spent $20 to go to her concert to hear her sing. She said she had always wanted to Christmas carol, so I arranged a group caroling session. Every time she criticizes me, I repeat what she says to her and I try to let her know I have listened. But what happens is that she tells me to do something and I do it, but then she gets mad at me and criticizes me in front of the kids for doing what she asked.
Case in point- we have a boy who is very high need and immature. He pushes all of her buttons and she becomes very irritated very fast with him. She was giving him a lesson and he refused to work by himself. If she left him to continue working, he stopped and started distracting other children. She came over to me and said, "I am getting irritated with (child). Will you please sit with him and get him to finish his work?" He had one math problem that he had to do. Remember, this is with Montessori materials, so one problem can be pretty intensive. So I sat down and started doing just that. About 5 minutes later she came over and told me she didn't want me just sitting with him. He was taking up too much of my time and was going to start to rely on me working with him. I stood up and told her that I thought she had asked me to sit down and get him to finish his work. She said that is NOT what she said. But she did, it's kind of hard to misunderstand 8 or 9 words....
So, in the end, there is only one answer for me in this situation. And I hate it and I run from it every time. But I just have to rise. I always have to rise like frigging cream. I realized in reading my own stuff that I am getting sucked into her negative energy and being turned into something I am not. She frowns and tsks and clucks and belittles the kids. That's not me. She thinks it is completely inappropriate that I provide opportunities for the kids to laugh AT me during lessons, it encourages chaos. So what? If she puts me in charge of circle, then I will run the circle in the way I am comfortable. I will continue to do silly accents and tickle and hug my kids. I will not try to overrun her authority, after all, she is the lead teacher and so be it. But if I don't get hired back, I will be thankful, I think.
I just hate that it takes me so long in my life to accept that in each difficult encounter I have, I must rise above the situation and be the bigger person. Some small part of me always wants to stick my tongue out and just give a great big "Nya-nya-nya," at these things. But that being said, I hope to be able to take a break from writing about my situation with my boss and go back to writing about other, more interesting and fun things. Like the day I kicked Hubby out of the house just for eating shrimp scampi.