I guess I have a last straw...and it was found today.
My boss did what she does and hung me out to dry yesterday. Same old stuff, no need to rehash it. But by last night I just really felt as if my soul had been sucked out of my nose with a straw. I dreaded going into work today and I was so tired. I still have nothing to give. So when I walked into work and my boss wanted to "check in" with me about what happened, I just let it all out. I told her that for the past several months I have been extremely uncomfortable, that she had made it quite obvious that she doesn't like me, that she tells me I am too serious but if I try to be more light-hearted that she feels that I am "too much" and essentially she has left me with nowhere to be. I also said that I feel as if I am working under a microscope and she watches my every move and expression on my face and analyzes everything.
To say she was upset with me is an understatement. She put it all back on me and said it was my problem and that I have made her feel like a monster. But you know what? For the first time in months I feel free. As soon as I said it, this vise that was forcing my eyes into a mask of pain let go and my jaw unclenched and I just didn't care that I may have just lost my job. She can be unhappy with me all she wants. I didn't yell at her. I didn't say my piece in an unacceptable way. I calmly and in an adult manner stated the facts and put them out there. Now, according to my faculty handbook, if we can't come to a resolution, I have a right to go above her head and seek help from the school director. I have spoken.
Or, to bastardize a Haven Kimmel title, I Got Up off the Chair!