Wednesday, January 28, 2009

And the meek shall inherit the earth...

I guess I have a last straw...and it was found today.

My boss did what she does and hung me out to dry yesterday. Same old stuff, no need to rehash it. But by last night I just really felt as if my soul had been sucked out of my nose with a straw. I dreaded going into work today and I was so tired. I still have nothing to give. So when I walked into work and my boss wanted to "check in" with me about what happened, I just let it all out. I told her that for the past several months I have been extremely uncomfortable, that she had made it quite obvious that she doesn't like me, that she tells me I am too serious but if I try to be more light-hearted that she feels that I am "too much" and essentially she has left me with nowhere to be. I also said that I feel as if I am working under a microscope and she watches my every move and expression on my face and analyzes everything.

To say she was upset with me is an understatement. She put it all back on me and said it was my problem and that I have made her feel like a monster. But you know what? For the first time in months I feel free. As soon as I said it, this vise that was forcing my eyes into a mask of pain let go and my jaw unclenched and I just didn't care that I may have just lost my job. She can be unhappy with me all she wants. I didn't yell at her. I didn't say my piece in an unacceptable way. I calmly and in an adult manner stated the facts and put them out there. Now, according to my faculty handbook, if we can't come to a resolution, I have a right to go above her head and seek help from the school director. I have spoken.

Or, to bastardize a Haven Kimmel title, I Got Up off the Chair!

6 comments:

Jeannie said...

Good for you! This will make you a stronger person regardless of how it turns out. But you can't go wrong sticking up for yourself even if others don't feel that way.

Michelle said...

Good for you!
I thought for sure you were going to say that you told her to take her job and shove it.

Diana said...

Wonderful! You never need to just "take it" if your boss is doing something that makes you unhappy - and an overcontrolling boss is a pretty typical complaint!

I have been here. Your boss cannot fire you for attempting to come to a resolution with her. So ease your mind, but do be prepared to have to go higher, as it doesn't seem like she is open to one-on-one conflict resolution. If she gives you more grief, alert her (as is only fair) that you will go higher as per the faculty guidelines, and then put your hands over your ears (hypothetically) and leave.

I hope you have been documenting, so you can show the mediator some concrete evidence to work with? If not, do so now.

Anonymous said...

You. Go. Girl.

/ dw

Amy said...

That's great! I'm so glad you stood up for yourself.

Bubblewench said...

Glad to hear it finally all came out. Best of luck with the whole situation.