Wednesday, December 3, 2008

It's Really NOT Funny...and yet....

I live in a miniature world. All day long I am surrounded by tiny people who work at tiny tables and sit in tiny chairs. They have tiny fingers and tiny noses. They are oh, so cute, and yet, sometimes they lack the ability to use good judgment.

Take today for example, I was kneeling at a tiny table working with a child when I felt another child whoosh up on me in a sheer panic. Her face was distorted, she was breathing hard and I really thought she was going to tell me she had cut some body part off with scissors. I turned towards her, told her to take a breath and asked her what was wrong. In a very high pitched wail she said:

"I PUT A BEAD UP MY NOSE AND NOW I CAN'T GET IT OUT!!!!" This wail immediately caused all of the other children to turn into shelties and they started running in circles, screaming my name wondering what I was going to do. The girl had been working with perler beads and decided to see how it would feel to put the bead up her nostril. The thing is, this girl is a nose picker, so I didn't even need to ask her why she did it. I grabbed a tissue, held the non-bead filled nostril closed and told her to blow, but alas, the bead was stuck.

The poor girl started to cry even harder, terrified that the bead was going to be stuck forever and even more terrified when I told her we were going to call her dad to come get her and take her to the doctor. I explained to her that this was no big deal, really. That while she should never again put something up her nose, she is not the first nor will she be the last child to put something up her nose. She was fascinated when I told her that I had a kid who stuck a raisin up her nose and another who put a black bean up her nose. She was completely calm when the lead teacher walked back into the room, asked me what was going on and, when she found out, started berating the child. All hell broke loose again. The poor girl's nose was whistling from the bead, the other children were anxiously clustered around and I was once again trying to calm the scene.

The girl's dad arrived, took the child to the doctor and she was back within 2 hours. When he arrived back, he told me that "In the future when that happens, you should try to close one nostril and tell her to blow through the other." To which I replied, "Well, hopefully she has learned her lesson and this WON'T happen again, but I did try doing that and it didn't work at the time."

Ah, the joy of the preschool class.

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