As far as I can tell, and I think I've been doing this long enough to speak with some authority, there are two kinds of pastor's wives. There's the kind like me-dedicated to our husbands but slightly lost in the shuffle and desperately trying to balance a family life with our own dreams. I meet these women from time to time. Not often, but when I do, we commiserate with each other and offer sympathy, uh, I mean, SUPPORT!
Then there's the other kind. I call these women the Insipid Spouses. When I was 5 months pregnant Hubby and I went to dinner with a newlywed couple. The husband had just started seminary and the wife was a botanist. Both were very religious and seemed to have a deep commitment and love for each other. The Hubbies were friends and had beer, so they instantly started doing that male bonding thing, shutting us women out and leaving us to converse with each other. To this day I have never forgiven Hubby for this dreadful experience. The woman was only able to talk about two things: plants and her husband's ministry, which he hadn't started yet because he was still in school.
Okay, I am a kind of jack-of-all-trades, pillar of worthless knowledge kind of person, I can talk about plants for a little bit and not sound bored. So we did. We talked about what she did in her lab, the famous scientist she worked with and what discoveries they had made. Then we talked about her husband's desire to start a prison ministry. She would have stayed on that subject the entire time if I had let her. But Hubby had arranged this dinner in hopes of finding a clergy couple that we could hang out with and talk about NON-church things. I tried everything to engage this woman in secular conversations but she wouldn't bite. Finally I asked her what other interests she had besides her husband and plants. I swear this is her response- "Nothing." Um, WHAT???!!! I tried again and said, "Surely you must have something besides your work that is yours?" To which she said, "No, all I need in my life is my job and my husband. I just want to support him in everyway I can." I realized it was useless and stopped there.
But 5 years later this couple is divorced, the husband has been stripped of his ministry and, if the rumor mill is to be believed (they're pastors, so you kind of believe it) is very happy with his boyfriend.