Sunday, October 19, 2008

Here We Go

A woman appeared at our church today. Not just any woman. That kind of woman. The prostelytizing, fast-talking, trying to save my soul while she looks around for something to steal, kind. And here we go again.

I can spot a religious con-artist before I even hear them speak. It's just a talent I have. I first noticed this woman in the church kitchen this morning. Her eyes were darting around everywhere and she was talking to anyone who came within 5 feet of her, talking about what a hard life she had, how she had been run out of her last church and then put in a mental institution in another county because someone mistook her for another woman. She was telling every one! I walked as far away as possible from her.

But fast forward to this afternoon. Our church had an afternoon picnic and there she was, fast talking at one of our more shy congregants who I happened to like until I heard my so-called friend say "Let me introduce you to the pastor's wife." I had no where to run and no tree to hide behind before the woman was passed off to me. She immediately started talking about her three ex-husbands and Lucifer throwing trials in her path and how dark-haired men are the devil and she just wanted me to know where she was coming from and...and...and...URGH!

Hubby came up and just stared at the woman-watching my head get bigger and bigger- just smirking as he thought of it exploding any minute. But did he save me? NO! I would manage to slip away from her and she would start attacking someone else and they would bring her back over to me. I couldn't get away. No one wanted to be near her.

I know her though. I don't know her personally, but I have been a pastor's wife going on 10 years now and I have seen people just like her. She tries too hard to fit in. She wants people to think she is so pious because in her mental state she thinks that is what we want to hear. She is trying to gain the trust of the church people and when she thinks she has it, things will start to disappear. Not much at first, the money in the church alms box that is unguarded in the narthex. Then the DVD player will suddenly be gone. Finally, she will approach someone in the church and try to get a large sum of money with a pity story. The person will see her for who she is (because she is definitely not in the league of the Stalker Congregants) and she will steal one last big thing and be gone.

I just hate that we are going to go through this again. But that is the thing about church, you get all types. The sad thing is, there are some mentally unstable people with really good hearts and no criminal history who could really use church as a stabilizing force, but because there are so many pschizophrenic religious zealot con-artists out there, they get pushed aside.

We had one woman in our church who said she was ADD AND (And what she never said). Talking to her was really hard, but she was such a pure light of a soul, you hung in with her because you knew she needed you. She left the church because she felt like she made people uncomfortable, and that made me sad. But this person, who I know is eventually going to cause Hubby and the church grief, this person is going to drive me crazy.


Bubblewench said...

Boy do you have your hands full.

Anonymous said...

Who steals from a church? I swear you guys hvae been plagued with the craziest people! Like you NEED more crazy person stress!!

Anonymous said...

Very rude for you to judge people. That's not what christ taught at all. To each their own, God is the only judge. You are a very angry RUDE person!