Saturday, October 18, 2008

And yet another former blog transfer

Hubby does not have the gift of foresight. Most of his life lessons have been learned the hard way, using hindsight. I, thank goodness, have the ability to look at a situation and say, "Oh, this is bad, abort!" However, I can not be with Hubby 24/7, it's just not possible or healthy.

Well, before Hubby decided to become an ordained minister, we lived in a very small town (population 259) smack dab in the middle of the country. The nearest McDonald's was 45 minutes away, the nearest grocery store was 20 minutes away. We got our water from a well and it went into a septic tank. This town was so small, the only restaurant in town was the little grill attached to the gas station. You could fill up your car, get a greasy burger and buy bait all in one stop. This town was so small that the biggest news for 3 weeks running was the beaver problem up river. The beavers kept damming up the river and with hurricane season, it was threatening to flood the area. It was BIG news, let me tell you.

The other thing about this town was the drainage system. We didn't have sewers, or water lines, or any fancy way of directing water when it rained. Our entire town had 3-4 foot ditches dug along the roads. The few places where the ditches couldn't be dug, due to walkways or large tree roots, had big metal pipes for the water to run through. Each person in the town was responsible for keeping their "ditch" clear of weeds and debris. Hubby took this task very seriously and maintained our ditch religiously, especially since our ditch joined up with one of the few drainage pipes that ran behind the neighboring church.

Eventually, however, he got bored with the process and one day decided to try to speed it up by doing a controlled burn. The ground was a little wet and the gasoline he used wouldn't catch the weeds. At this point, impatient Hubby got the bright idea to go and get the Coleman fuel we kept in case of hurricanes and use that to throw on the weeds. He poured a large amount on it and stepped closer to look. Still, the grass didn't catch, so he poured just a little more gasoline on it.

I was in the house when I heard it. It was the loudest boom I have ever heard in my life and the house shook like the foundation was going to crumble in on itself. I rushed outside, honestly thinking a crop duster had crashed in our little back half-acre. And there was Hubby..... He was standing, amazed that he was still alive, albeit a little singed, just staring at the home-made cannon he had created. The Coleman fuel had finally caught on fire and, all at one time and with a mighty roar, lit up the ditch and created a fireball that shot the half a block through the water pipe that traveled under the church property, erupting out in a poof of fire and smoke on the other side. Neighbors came running out of their houses to see what had happened. When I saw that Hubby was still alive and the fire had been so explosive as to burn itself out, I went back inside with a shake of my head and ordered another 50,000 be added to Hubby's life insurance.

This is all a true story, except for the life insurance, Hubby is already well-insured and you can see why.

1 comment:

Bubblewench said...

ok.. is today laugh at your husband day for me? Why yes it is. Another example of MAN....